The Mom Club

Lots of things happened pretty soon after finding out I was pregnant with Hailey- but one thing I did not expect was that I was suddenly part of a huge network of other moms. This network can have it's advantages and disadvantages, but once you figure out how to recognize the toxic members it is a huge blessing!

When I began to tell people I was pregnant I noticed something almost immediately- When I told a mom, the reactions and questions were completely different than when I told someone that did not yet have children. The moms (for the most part) would offer their complete support to you. I had women that I rarely spoke with before offering me their phone numbers to call them at all hours of the night if needed. Friends and family that I had always talked to before, just not that often began to call me on a weekly basis to see how I was feeling. Of course you do have the "toxic" ones I referred to above- the ones that only wanted to tell you how horrible their pregnancy and labor was and that they don't envy me for what I will have to deal with once the baby is actually here... The ones that would tell me "OH! Well you better get all the sleep you can now because you will never sleep again!" THOSE are the toxic ones, and those are the ones that I learned to just block out. For some reason these moms think they deserve a medal for doing what others have done for thousands of years. Instead of enjoying motherhood and appreciating this gift from God, all they want to do is complain. I want no part of these kinds of Mothers, and fortunately, they are not the norm.

Once I did actually have Hailey, it was clear to me why all those mothers were so excited for me and were so willing to help. From then on, anytime a woman has told me she was pregnant I can hardly contain my excitement for her! I immediately begin thinking of all the things she needs as gifts and the things she will need to know- I have to stop myself from emailing once a day with a little tid-bit of advice! Then once the baby gets here I feel mixed emotions for them. I am excited for them that their little one has finally arrived, but at the same time I worry about them. I wonder if their hormones are overwhelming them and making it so that they can't enjoy this time- I wonder if their little one is sleeping a few hours at a time for them. I want to hug them and tell them it is normal to feel overwhelmed and that things get better everyday- that this will be the most fun, rewarding experience of their lives they just have to get through the first few hard months! This is about the time I begin to offer up my phone number with an "any hour of the day or night" promise because I just feel compelled to!

This Mom Club is, in my opinion, the single most helpful thing a mom could ever ask for! The best advice I have ever gotten has not been from doctors, it has been from moms! When your baby is colicky and won't stop crying, you don't call your doctor or even your husband- you call any member of the Mom Club you can think of to learn what worked for them. The Mom Club helped me find childcare, a pediatrician, ways to calm Hailey, affordable clothes... the list could go on and on. They have provided me with gifts, hand-me-downs and invaluable support when I have been at my wits end. They actually ask for, and genuinely want to see pictures of Hailey; as I genuinely want to see pictures of their little ones!

Membership doesn't just have it's perks your baby's first year, it is something that I think you will use forever. When I run out the door in a rush and forget sunscreen, I don't panic. I know that there will be a mom, a total stranger wherever I am going that will be more than happy to give me a handful of sunscreen for Hailey, and the rest of the family if needed. I do not feel bad about asking because I know that I will return the favor. Mothers have asked me for wet wipes, a diaper, medicine, teething cookies, etc. You name it, I will ask for it or offer it up. There is no room for embarrassment once you have a little life to care for.

There is only one downfall that I have noticed, (other than the toxic moms, but those have been weeded out by now.) Along with the bond you feel with other mothers, comes be heartbreaking empathy you also feel for them. I have two friends that are desperately trying to get pregnant and cannot, I literally, physically hurt for them. One mom, her daughter is mentioned on this blog, had twins and one was injured at birth causing Cerebral Palsy. I cannot imagine. Even TV shows are hard to watch. I know that they are actors, but if it involves losing a child I just can't watch it now.

I'm not sure why I spouted off with this today- I guess I just want other mothers to remember that this awesome network is behind them. Always ask for help and advice if you need it. It doesn't show weakness, it shows that you will do whatever it takes to care for your child.